Moving Forward in the Dominican Republic!
Tue, 02/21/2012 - 22:18 — amywickstromMoving Forward in the Dominican Republic
I’m home from the Dominican Republic, and it was a great trip! I loved meeting the kids at the Children of the Nations (COTN) elementary schools and beginning to brainstorm how they can receive counseling services.
It was also wonderful to be in a relational culture that prizes spending time with people over effectiveness and achievement. What a breath of fresh air.
So what are the highlights from the trip?
The need is great. In the Dominican Republic, there are over 1,000 kids in the COTN elementary schools, and most of these kids come from dire circumstances. Domestic violence, abuse, neglect, poverty, and a variety of other problems have left these kids in need. The majority of them have never had the opportunity to see a counselor.
The workers are few. There are 3 school counselors for the 5 COTN elementary schools, and they are responsible for trying to meet the needs of all of the children. They have not been heavily trained in counseling, but they are eager to learn.
The plan forward. At this point, I’m wondering if the best path forward involves training the school counselors in play therapy. COTN would provide each school with a suitcase of toys and materials for the school counselors to use. If all goes well, we will try to find more school staff to train in play therapy so that more children can get access to counseling services.
Only time will tell, so I’ll keep you posted!
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor. The play therapy blog at More Than a Toy (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)
I'm Packing Up My Bags
Wed, 02/08/2012 - 05:32 — amywickstromI’m Packing Up My Bags
I’m flying to the Dominican Republic this week to help create a counseling program for a non-profit organization called Children of the Nations (COTN).
COTN works with destitute and impoverished children who often do not have access to an education, medical care, food, or a roof over the heads. Mental health services are a luxury that pail in comparison to other urgent needs, so its no surprise that they aren’t much of a priority.
Yet COTN is changing this trend. It recognizes that helping children who live in poverty must have more than food, clothing, and textbooks to be renewed and receive hope. To heal from war, natural disasters, and other traumatic events, children must be given an opportunity to process these things and make sense of them.
That’s where play therapy enters the scene. It gives children a way to make sense of their lives in a way that is safe and comfortable to them. Furthermore, it’s not inhibited by the language barriers, need for translators, or cultural differences that are frequently encountered in talk therapy. As a result, the counseling program I’m hoping to develop in the Dominican Republic is based in play therapy.
I’m excited to be a part of this new venture, and I’m hopeful that the child counseling program will develop in the Dominican Republic in the next few months. If it works, we will start building similar programs in Africa.
This trip means that next week I won’t be posting a blog entry because I’ll be out of town, and probably without an internet connection!
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor. The play therapy blog at More Than a Toy (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)
Understanding the Child Who BITES!
Wed, 02/01/2012 - 22:58 — amywickstromUnderstanding the Child Who BITES!
Most people find biting disturbing, but in reality, it’s something a lot of kids do. In fact, I was a biter as a kid, and my siblings still have teeth marks to prove it. Just kidding… the marks disappeared years ago.
Most parents are primarily interested in HOW to stop children from biting, but it is equally important to understand WHY children bite.
Here’s the scoop:
1. Experimentation: Some kids bite because they simply want to know what it’s like to sink their teeth into something. This is one of the many ways they are exploring the world and everything in it. Their mouth provides them with an opportunity to literally taste their surroundings… including their toys, food, you, their siblings, and yes, even the family dog.
2. Checking your reaction: Some children bite because they are learning right from wrong and they will test your reaction to their behavior. Your child is thinking, “Hmmm… I wonder what mom will do if I bite my sister.” (It’s important to nip this in the bud by providing a quick consequence to the biting behavior.)
3. Fear: Just like dogs and other animals, children can bite to defend themselves when they feel scared or threatened. If this is the case, be sensitive to your child’s needs and try to help your child feel safe.
4. Monkey See- Monkey Do: Children love to imitate what they see, and this is one of the best ways they learn about the world and everything in it! If a child sees another child bite, he or she may imitate the behavior.
5. Just plain mad: Children are in the early stages of learning self-control, so some children bite to express their anger or frustration. They simply haven’t developed the ability to communicate their feelings in better ways (yet), such as using their words and getting help from an adult.
Toys and play offer children an excellent way to express some of the feelings and emotional needs that lead to biting. For example, if your child bites from anger or frustration, allowing your child to whack a bop bag from time to time will give your child a positive alternative for releasing those feelings. Playing with your child offers them another wonderful way to process what they experience in life and meet their need to “experiment” with different behaviors without actually hurting someone. For example, your child can pretend to have one doll bite another one, instead of actually trying out the behavior themselves!
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor. The play therapy blog at More Than a Toy (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)
A quick and easy way to teach your child about hunger, poverty, and the importance of giving
Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:39 — amywickstromA quick and easy way to teach your child about hunger, poverty, and the importance of giving
I’ve mentioned a charity called “Souper Bowl for Caring” in the past, but I’m going to mention it again b/c it offers a great way to use the upcoming Super Bowl to teach your children about hunger, poverty, and giving.
Living a lifestyle of gratitude isn’t something you teach your kids once a year during the holidays. It’s something you teach them on a regular basis by taking advantage of (and creating) opportunities for your children. With that in mind, Souper Bowl for Caring offers your family a creative way to turn a Super Bowl party into a unique occasion to tackle hunger in America.
It’s pretty simple.
1. Register at www.souperbowl.org
2. Collect money or canned goods before or on Super Bowl Sunday
3. Report your results at tacklehunger.org to share your victory and inspire others
4. Donate 100% of your collection to the charity of your choice.
You may also recall that I’m leaving for the Dominican Republic in February to help a non-profit organization called Children of the Nations develop a counseling program for some of the children there. Children of the Nations is one of thousands of non-profits that desperately need funding to serve those in need. I encourage you to consider turning your Super Bowl party into a Souper Bowl for Caring opportunity to raise money for one of these organizations!
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor. The play therapy blog at More Than a Toy (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)
Is your child a “know-it-all?”
Tue, 01/17/2012 - 23:32 — amywickstromIs your child a “know-it-all?”
Being around a “know-it-all” is not fun, and it can challenge even the most patient adult. But let’s reverse the situation… can you imagine what it’s like for children to be around us? We tell them the answers to all of their questions, and sometimes we find ourselves dishing out knowledge on things they didn’t ask us about. Though our role as a parent definitely involves imparting information, sometimes we go overboard to the point of stifling a child’s imagination and creativity.
When it comes to playing with your child, reign in your tendency to teach. To go a step further, pretend like you are dumb. Imagine that you don’t know what the pretend house is used for, nor do you know what to do with the pretend food or other toys. If your child asks you a question, such as, “What is x, y, or z,” you can say, “Well, I’m not sure. How about you decide!” This frees your child to pretend that the house is their school, the colored pencils are rocket ships, or their jump rope a lasso.
Creativity and imagination are hallmarks of childhood that so easily slip through our fingers with age. I encourage you to enter the crazy world of your child by allowing them to decide how to use their toys, and you might find that it unleashes some creative juices in you as well!
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor. The play therapy blog at More Than a Toy (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)
Playful Parenting by Dr. Cohen
Wed, 01/11/2012 - 23:21 — amywickstromPlayful Parenting by Dr. Cohen
I want to share a snippet of a book with you because I wonder if you might relate:
“Regardless of whether I was having a good day or bad day, was in the mood or not, my daughter wanted to play. She wanted to interact with me when I didn’t feel like interacting with anybody; she wanted my complete attention when I had other things to attend to; she wanted me to be on call, even if she was playing alone. More often than I’d like to admit, I’d find myself wanting to do anything else rather than get down on the floor and engage her seemingly bottomless need for attention and play. Or I’d get on the floor and promptly fall asleep- and not just from being a tired parent. After all, I had already given so much of myself, and now she wanted me to play.” (p. xi)
I relate to this author, and I wonder if you do too. It’s hard to constantly engage children, especially through play. We feel guilty for not playing with our children enough, and though we recognize that something meaningful and important is happening in them through it, we struggle to get on the floor and do it.
I’m surprised that I’ve never come across this author’s book until now. It’s called “Playful Parenting” by Dr. Lawrence Cohen. There have been many times when parents have asked me for a book recommendation that will teach them how to use play to connect with their children and improve their behavior. Though I have a long list of books for clinicians to read on this topic, I’ve yet to find one written for parents… until now. If you are interested in learning how to harness the power of play to nurture a close connection with your child and eliminate behavior problems, I highly encourage you to consider reading this book. Plus, it makes a great New Year resolution!
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor. The play therapy blog at More Than a Toy (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)
Can you imagine life without your worst fear??
Tue, 01/03/2012 - 23:07 — amywickstromCan you imagine life without your worst fear??
Most children worry. A fun and easy way to help them process their fears and anxieties is a magazine collage, which takes virtually no time or preparation!
How to do it:
1) Collect magazines lying around your house, glue and/or tape, scissors, and a piece of plain paper.
2) Invite your child to draw a line down the middle of the paper. Tell your child that one side of the paper is about their life with their worries or fears, and the other side of the paper is about their life without their worries and fears.
3) Invite your child to flip through the magazines and cut out anything that reminds them about what their life is- or isn’t- like with their worries or fears, and then glue or tape the cut-outs on the appropriate side of the paper.
4) Be sure to tell your child that there isn’t a right or wrong way to do it, so they can be creative and have fun.
5) After your child is finished, invite him or her to tell you about their collage.
Try not to pry or ask invasive questions. Instead, be comforting, encouraging, and empathic with your child. You can also make your own collage about something you worry about, but be sure that is appropriate for your child to listen to (i.e. not marital troubles). You can use your own collage to discuss and role model how to manage your worries.
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor. The play therapy blog at More Than a Toy (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)
2 Easy Ways to Make Your Child’s Christmas Gifts go the Extra Mile
Tue, 12/27/2011 - 23:06 — amywickstrom2 Easy Ways to Make Your Child’s Christmas Gifts go the Extra Mile
Though the number of children living in poverty in the United States is on the rise, there are countless kids who received an abundance of gifts for Christmas. If you would like to make your child’s gifts stretch, there are two easy ways to do so.
1) Don’t give your child all of their gifts at once. Instead, save some of the presents for the weeks and months ahead. After your child has opened their gifts, remove some of them and hide them. For example, I have a closet underneath my staircase where I put toys my children aren’t currently using. This allows them to stay novel, and it also eliminates some of the “clutter” that would otherwise be lying around my house. Store the surplus gifts in a place like this, and when you bring them out for your child to play with, put some of their old toys into the closet in their place to keep the cycle going.
2) Give to charity. If your child received toys he or she isn’t very excited about, you might consider giving them to a charity, such as a local rescue mission for the homeless. You could also make it a holiday tradition to have your child choose one item they received for Christmas to give to someone else in need. This helps children remember the meaning of Christmas, and it keeps the giving-spirit alive.
If you have other ways you get the extra mile out of your Christmas gifts, feel free to share them with me (amy.wickstrom@morethanatoy.com) and I will post them for others to read!
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor. The play therapy blog at More Than a Toy (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)
3 ways to make the holidays special for your family
Wed, 12/07/2011 - 00:29 — amywickstrom3 ways to make the holidays special for your family
I’m not one bit surprised that one of the primary mental health problems in our country is anxiety, and I cant help but to wonder if the month of December witnesses a significant spike it. Christmas comes with so many expectations. In fact, there is so much “hype” for this time of year, that it’s easy to get lost in it.
Most families would like to enjoy the holiday season and make it special for their children, but it can be an elusive goal that often ends in frustration and disappointment.
It would be easy to provide a long list of pointers for how to make the holidays a meaningful season, but instead I’ve just focused on a few tips. If you’re able to do these things, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the outcome!
1) Slow down. Its easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of Christmas, and never get the chance to enjoy the simple things of the season, like an eggnog latte and the holiday artwork you child brings home from school.
2) Don’t overbook your family’s schedule. As tempting as it may be to attend all of the fun holiday events, one of the ways to make this season more meaningful is by being careful to not fill the next few weeks with too many activities and to-do lists.
3) Spend quality time with your family. Have fun doing things like playing board games, baking cookies, or making homemade gifts. The holidays are about relationships, not giving and receiving presents, so taking time out to be together should be at the top of your list.
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor. The play therapy blog at More Than a Toy (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)
The Traveling Toy Bag… Off to the Dominican Republic!
Tue, 11/22/2011 - 23:57 — amywickstromThe Traveling Toy Bag… Off to the Dominican Republic!
Though traveling used to be an enormous part of my life, I haven’t been overseas since I had my children. That’s why yesterday was so significant. I booked a flight for the Dominican Republic, and to say I’m excited is an understatement. I’m thrilled.
I’m going with Children of the Nations (COTN), a Christian non-profit organization dedicated to serving impoverished children in Haiti, “the DR”, and Africa.
The purpose of the trip is to find out if one of the COTN schools is interested in pioneering a new program that would provide play-based support services to the students. The program would train lay leaders in filial therapy, which means they would learn how to have playtimes with young children that mimic clinical sessions done by play therapists. Basically, we would set up a playroom at the school and teach lay counselors how to use it.
Despite the anxiety I feel about leaving my two small children for several days, I am so excited to be able to share play therapy with children who would never receive it otherwise. It’s easy to forget that counseling services are a luxury that few can afford. What a joy it will be to help impoverished children receive them. Stay tuned… as the trip gets closer, I’ll be sure to share more!
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor. The play therapy blog at More Than a Toy (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)