3 Tips for Buying Animal Figurines for Your Child
Tue, 06/04/2013 - 21:45 — amywickstrom3 Tips for Buying Animal Figurines for Your Child
You might think it’s easy to find good wild animal figurines, but that’s not always the case. There are actually several things to consider, which I thought you might enjoy learning about since parents often find themselves buying this kind of thing for their kids.
What to look for:
1) Do the animals look realistic? The more realistic they look, the better. This means many of the fisher price and other infant/preschool brands usually aren’t a good fit.
2) Is there more than one of each kind of animal? Try to find sets of animals that contain pairs of the same animal, or preferably even families. This allows children to “play out” relationships and interpersonal dynamics they observe between people every day. Children often choose animals to play out what they experience because they feel a safe emotional distance that way. In comparison, doll families sometimes feel a little too close to home and realistic.
3) Can they be purchased as a set? You can often find individual animals for sale, but it’s good if you can buy them as part of a set. When sold as a set, all of the animals look the same and are in proportionate size to each other.
With these factors in mind, I found two sets of animals I would highly recommend. Both can be found at Lakeshore Learning Store, though only one of the sets is listed on their website. They are the Classic Wild Animal Figurines and the Classic Domestic Animal Figurines.
I’ve purchased both sets for my clinical office, a counseling program in Uganda, and my own children. They meet all of the criteria I’ve mentioned above, and they offer hours of fun and meaningful play!
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist Supervisor. Sharing the Secrets of Play Therapy with Today’s Parents (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)
The importance of “show” versus “tell”
Wed, 05/15/2013 - 22:06 — amywickstromThe importance of “show” versus “tell”
I’ve recently heard a few stories about small children who have experienced negative things in their lives. When parents ask what they can do to talk to their child about these experiences, one thing that comes to mind is the difference between asking their child to “show” them what happened versus “tell”.
“Telling” a parent or adult about a negative experience is not ideal because it requires that a child use verbal skills. Though its good for children to learn how to use their verbal skills, asking them to do so when they are trying to communicate negative experiences makes an uncomfortable situation even more uncomfortable for the child. Most children don’t like talking about negative experiences with an adult, so it’s important to help them feel as safe and comfortable as possible during this kind of communication.
Instead, a child can use toys, dolls, or other props from around the house to “show” what happened to him or her, which opens up the possibilities for communication. Because play is the natural language of childhood, children are more likely to communicate through play when compared to using their verbal skills. To make your child more comfortable, start the process by telling your own story about something that happened to you (i.e. use the toys to act out having your breakfast this morning, going to a meeting, or having an important conversation with someone on the phone). Then ask your child tell their own story with the toys about something that happened. After it’s clear that your child understands how to act out a story with the toys, then invite your child to show you what happened in the negative experience.
Another way you can use this technique is by inviting your child to draw a picture of what happened. This allows your child to “show” you instead of “telling” you with words.
I hope this helps you navigate those difficult times in parenting when something negative may have happened to your child and you are trying to get more information without feeling like you are interrogating your child. These can be tricky situations, and one of the important things to remember is to ALWAYS communicate to your child that no matter what kind of negative thing happened, it was not your child’s fault.
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist Supervisor. Sharing the Secrets of Play Therapy with Today’s Parents (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)
EMDR and Children
Tue, 04/23/2013 - 22:07 — amywickstromEMDR and Children
I went to an EMDR conference for two days last week, and it was so neat to learn about all of the ways that EMDR is being used to treat pediatric mental health problems. If you aren’t aware of EMDR, it’s a treatment approach that helps a person reprocess memories, beliefs, and emotions that are causing them psychological distress. I admit that I thought it was a bit strange at first, and you might too as you research it more.
I was trained in EMDR many years ago when I graduated from my Master’s program. Since that time, EMDR has evolved through the research and practice of thousands of clinicians who provide it to their clients. Though it was primarily used for trauma in it’s early days, it is now used for many different mental health disorders, including anxiety, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, attachment disorders, bipolar, ADHD, phobias, sensory processing disorder, and even autism.
Though most children I work with don’t have major mental illness, they still benefit from EMDR. Your child may benefit too. Examples of these kinds of cases are children who have been bullied, bit by a dog, have difficulty separating from a parent, worry about everything, have irrational thoughts, or can’t seem to calm themselves down. EMDR certainly isn’t a one-stop “fix it” approach for everyone, but I’ve seen it do amazing things in a lot of children’s lives. If your child is struggling with any of the concerns I’ve highlighted in this post, you might consider giving EMDR a try!
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist Supervisor. Sharing the Secrets of Play Therapy with Today’s Parents (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)
The Sadness of Suicide
Wed, 04/10/2013 - 21:15 — amywickstromThe Sadness of Suicide
This week has been somber for me because Rick Warren, a well-known evangelist in Southern California, lost his son to suicide a few days ago. In a letter to his church, Rick shared that his son struggled with mental illness throughout his life. Despite multiple treatments, his son did not find lasting relief from depression.
My heart was so heavy when I learned about this, and I have ached for all of the families who have struggled with mental illness in the life of someone they love. Suicide is not as uncommon as we would like to believe. It happens across racial, social, economic, and gender lines. I know people who have taken their own lives, and I imagine you do too.
According to the Center for Disease Control, suicide is the tenth leading cause of death among all ages, and there are approximately 105 suicides each day in the United States. There is 1 suicide for every 25 attempts, and it’s more common in males than females.
A friend of mine recently shared with me an article about the tendency for people to post only the “perfect” parts of their lives on social websites- the trip to Paris, the smiling couple-shot, or the big milestone a child just achieved. But they never mention the tantrums, arguments, and other not-so-pretty things that happened just before the photos were taken and posted. This leads those reading these posts to feel inadequate or discontent with their own lives, and it also cultivates a false sense of what life really looks like.
The reality is, life is hard and it is full of un-post-worthy moments. Days, weeks, months, and even years may be marked by major challenges, like depression and mental illness. I can’t help but to wonder how many people are sharing with others the happy parts of their lives but are inwardly suffering day by day. The passing of Rick’s son reminds me of the pain that so many people are experiencing.
As I consider the passing of Rick Warren’s son, I’m thinking about the sadness of mental illness. But I’m also thinking about the hope I believe lies before us. As a Christian, I believe in heaven, where there will no longer be a need for mental health professionals like myself because there will be no more tears, pain, and sorrow.
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist Supervisor. Sharing the Secrets of Play Therapy with Today’s Parents (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)
The Sadness of Suicide
Wed, 04/10/2013 - 21:12 — amywickstromThe Sadness of Suicide
This week has been somber for me because Rick Warren, a well-known evangelist in Southern California, lost his son to suicide a few days ago. In a letter to his church, Rick shared that his son struggled with mental illness throughout his life. Despite multiple treatments, his son did not find lasting relief from depression.
My heart was so heavy when I learned about this, and I have ached for all of the families who have struggled with mental illness in the life of someone they love. Suicide is not as uncommon as we would like to believe. It happens across racial, social, economic, and gender lines. I know people who have taken their own lives, and I imagine you do too.
According to the Center for Disease Control, suicide is the tenth leading cause of death among all ages, and there are approximately 105 suicides each day in the United States. There is 1 suicide for every 25 attempts, and it’s more common in males than females.
A friend of mine recently shared with me an article about the tendency for people to post only the “perfect” parts of their lives on social websites- the trip to Paris, the smiling couple-shot, or the big milestone a child just achieved. But they never mention the tantrums, arguments, and other not-so-pretty things that happened just before the photos were taken and posted. This leads those reading these posts to feel inadequate or discontent with their own lives, and it also cultivates a false sense of what life really looks like.
The reality is, life is hard and it is full of un-post-worthy moments. Days, weeks, months, and even years may be marked by major challenges, like depression and mental illness. I can’t help but to wonder how many people are sharing with others the happy parts of their lives but are inwardly suffering day by day. The passing of Rick’s son reminds me of the pain that so many people are experiencing.
As I consider the passing of Rick Warren’s son, I’m thinking about the sadness of mental illness. But I’m also thinking about the hope I believe lies before us. As a Christian, I believe in heaven, where there will no longer be a need for mental health professionals like myself because there will be no more tears, pain, and sorrow.
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist Supervisor. Sharing the Secrets of Play Therapy with Today’s Parents (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)
Peeking into a parent’s experience of raising an autistic child
Wed, 04/03/2013 - 21:43 — amywickstromPeeking into a parent’s experience of raising an autistic child
April is Autism Awareness Month, and just yesterday someone shared this heartwarming video with me of a parent with his adolescent autistic son. I’d love for you to take 3 minutes to watch it- you won’t regret it.
One of the things I noticed about this father was that he didn’t view his child as someone with a problem that needed to be fixed. Instead, he saw his son as a human being with unique, albeit intense and demanding, needs.
It led me to wonder what it would be like if parents in general were able to see their children this way- beyond whatever their child’s presenting problem or diagnosis is. They are people, not problems.
Imagine what it would feel like as a child to know your parent views you as a project or someone “different” from everyone else. How that would impact your developing beliefs about yourself. On the other hand, imagine what it would feel like to know your parent believes in you and sees value in you regardless of your limitations. That kind of belief in someone can change their life forever.
If you’re a parent, take a moment to think about the beliefs you have about your child. Consider how you might be communicating those beliefs, both intentionally and unintentionally. When your child has significant limitations, challenge yourself to see past them and maintain a strong belief in your child’s value just as he/she is.
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist Supervisor. Sharing the Secrets of Play Therapy with Today’s Parents (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)
Easter Crescent Rolls: A Fun Family Recipe
Wed, 03/27/2013 - 21:10 — amywickstromEaster Crescent Rolls: A Fun Family Recipe
Traditions are an important part of childhood because they help kids feel a sense of belonging, and they also allow values and beliefs to be passed from one generation to the next. Holidays are special times of the year when traditions are very common.
Since Easter is around the corner, this is a natural time to be thinking of family traditions. You may already have several in place, such as Easter baskets, attending church, or having a special meal with family and friends.
A few days ago I posted a fun way you can transform Easter egg decorating into an activity that teaches children about their feelings. Today I want to share a simple recipe based in the Christian tradition that teaches children about the resurrection of Christ. I learned about it from a great magazine called Home Front. If your family observes Easter as a Christian tradition, you might really enjoy this simple activity!
What you need:
8 large marshmallows
½ cup melted butter
4 Tbsp sugar/cinnamon mixture (half sugar, half cinnamon)
1 (8 oz) can crescent rolls
How to do it:
Heat your oven to 375 degrees.
Separate the crescent rolls into triangles.
Dip one marshmallow into melted butter, roll it in the sugar/cinnamon mixture, place it in the center of the crescent triangle, and fold/pinch the edges tight. Place each crescent marshmallow on a greased cookie sheet and bake them as directed in the package.
During the preparation and baking, share with your child about the meaning of each part of the recipe, which is as follows: the rolls represent the linen that was used in Biblical times to wrap someone after he/she died, the marshmallows represent Jesus’ body, the butter represents the oils used to anoint his body, the sugar/cinnamon mixture represents the spices used in burials during Biblical times, and the oven represents the tomb Jesus was buried in.
I imagine your children may have a lot of questions about the traditions in Biblical times because they are so different from the traditions of today. Use this as a fun opportunity to research and learn about the traditions together as you seek answers to their questions!
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist Supervisor. Sharing the Secrets of Play Therapy with Today’s Parents (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)
Self-esteem: A creative “gift” idea for your child
Tue, 03/12/2013 - 21:12 — amywickstromSelf-esteem: A creative “gift” idea for your child
I live in Southern California, a place where its not uncommon for parents to spend hundreds of dollars on their child’s Christmas and birthday presents each year. There is nothing wrong with creating a celebration for your child in this way, but I’ve got a hunch that most parents would give their child more meaningful gifts if they knew how - and where - to get them. What if parents were able to give their child the gift of self-esteem? I’ve got a gift idea that works toward this goal, and it doesn’t cost a dime. It doesn’t get much better than that, eh!
What you need:
A gift bag and any other accessories for it (i.e. ribbon, tissue paper, card, etc)
10-20 slips of paper
Pen
How to do it:
On each slip of paper, write something you like about your child, something that is positive about your child, or something that would simply make your child feel good about themselves. Invite other people in your family and your child’s life (i.e. coach, teacher, friends, etc) to also contribute a slip of paper to the gift bag, or email them and ask them to email you back with a statement that you can print and place in the bag. Put all of the slips together in the gift bag, and give it to your child on their birthday. Enjoy the smile on your child’s face as each slip of paper is read aloud ☺
Examples of statements for the slips of paper:
You are always the first to help someone who is hurting
There are many people who care about you (name them, if you want to!)
You are trustworthy
You are really good at (fill in the blank)
You’re funny (or generous, kind, loving, patient, friendly, fun to be with, etc)
You’re good at sharing your things with other people
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist Supervisor. Sharing the Secrets of Play Therapy with Today’s Parents (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)
Self-esteem: A creative “gift” idea for your child
Tue, 03/12/2013 - 21:11 — amywickstromSelf-esteem: A creative “gift” idea for your child
I live in Southern California, a place where its not uncommon for parents to spend hundreds of dollars on their child’s Christmas and birthday presents each year. There is nothing wrong with creating a celebration for your child in this way, but I’ve got a hunch that most parents would give their child more meaningful gifts if they knew how - and where - to get them. What if parents were able to give their child the gift of self-esteem? I’ve got a gift idea that works toward this goal, and it doesn’t cost a dime. It doesn’t get much better than that, eh!
What you need:
A gift bag and any other accessories for it (i.e. ribbon, tissue paper, card, etc)
10-20 slips of paper
Pen
How to do it:
On each slip of paper, write something you like about your child, something that is positive about your child, or something that would simply make your child feel good about themselves. Invite other people in your family and your child’s life (i.e. coach, teacher, friends, etc) to also contribute a slip of paper to the gift bag, or email them and ask them to email you back with a statement that you can print and place in the bag. Put all of the slips together in the gift bag, and give it to your child on their birthday. Enjoy the smile on your child’s face as each slip of paper is read aloud ☺
Examples of statements for the slips of paper:
You are always the first to help someone who is hurting
There are many people who care about you (name them, if you want to!)
You are trustworthy
You are really good at (fill in the blank)
You’re funny (or generous, kind, loving, patient, friendly, fun to be with, etc)
You’re good at sharing your things with other people
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist Supervisor. Sharing the Secrets of Play Therapy with Today’s Parents (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)
Life in Someone Else’s Shoes: Teaching Empathy to Your Child
Mon, 02/25/2013 - 23:40 — amywickstromLife in Someone Else’s Shoes: Teaching Empathy to Your Child
Have you ever found yourself thinking, “I wish my child could put himself in someone else’s shoes because it seems like he only sees things from his perspective!” The ability to do this is called empathy, and it is one of the most important life skills your child can learn.
Did you know empathic children:
1. Build better relationships
2. Perform better academically.
3. Are less aggressive
Most parents hope their children will become kind, caring, and generous adults. Empathy is an essential part of helping your child develop these traits and navigating through life successfully.
How to teach children empathy:
1. Be empathic: Experience is one of the most powerful learning tools for children, so let them experience what it feels like to receive empathy. Research shows that parental modeling of empathy is correlated with the development of pro-social attitudes and behaviors among their children. So the next time your child is sad because something didn’t turn out the way she wanted, role model empathy by saying, “You’re really disappointed and wish this turned out different!” instead of, “That's all right. It will turn out better next time.”
2. Verbalize similarities: Verbalize to your child what she has in common with other people. This will help your child feel close or connected to them. Research indicates that empathy is enhanced in a classroom when activities initially focus on the similarities between children and then discuss their differences.
3. Read with your child: Read children’s stories with your child and talk about the characters in the story. Discuss how your child is like or unlike the characters, and how your child feels towards the characters. This will help your child understand what it is like to be in someone else’s shoes.
These tips will help jumpstart the development of empathy in your child. In essence, empathy helps children feel loved and learn how to love others, and these qualities form the backbone of a satisfying, meaningful life.
Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist Supervisor. Sharing the Secrets of Play Therapy with Today’s Parents (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)